Worried- Part ?????

Worried-

I have no idea

where she is

I know she must be

devastated

Her  children

are now being adopted

and she faced with the reality

that her boys are gone

I doubt if their mother will ever

let her see them

PLEASE STAY With Me

To SAM-

I don’t think

I could go on

in a world

where you ceased

to exist

So think long

and hard before

you check yourself out

What you don’t realize

is  that you hold my

fate in your hands

I simply would not

want to live

If you  don’t get better

you’re headed for a life

with only emptiness

This is your last chance

I understand it’s hard

but you have got to come back

stronger and better than

ever before’

G-d knows

your children NEED you

they’re young, but they understand

way too well

the kind of life you’ve lead

up to now

and Baby….My Sweet baby…

I know you’re still in there

just SCREAMING to come out

You just don’t realize

that eventually EVERYONE

will forgive you

But first…

You got to want the help

you’re heading for

a life with no  happiness

So….PLEASE

listen to me

I know about depression and stress

those are my 2 best friends

and worst enemies

G-d’; Please hear

me now

I want to go first

I could not survive

without hearing her voice

Yes; I admit it

I did wrong

I “stole” her

Don’t punish her

for my sin

just take me first

IF you stay where you are

your chances of recovery

is better than if you go

home to him

I can handle a lot of stress

but I cannot and will not watch

My Sweet and Last Baby

self destruct

I know she’s in there somewhere

SCREAMING to come back

and live a life

She was meant to have

She needs to forgive herself;

to try and understand that

even though life is hard

and sometimes rocky

it’s still worth another try

28 years How many were wasted?

Only she knows

I refuse to go on living

if my kid calls it quits

I can only pray

that she gets better

and comes back to us

Love Lost

I just have one question:

 

Does love die-

or does it just get lost

 

Where does it go

Damned if I can find it

I looked everywhere

it’s gone

It’s not in my heart

my heart is empty

and there is a definite void

years ago; you broke my heart

it took time, but it healed

but this time~

it’s broken beyond repair

Love lost

and frankly;

I don’t think I’ll ever find it

again

 

I don’t want to scream

I don’t want to yell

 

I just want to be left alone

 

Go to “her”

when you get home

I’ll be gone

 

There is no such thing as

forever

 

Good Vs. Bad

It suddenly stuck me one day

when I was a little more depressed

than usual

It all boiled down to one concept:

In the classic struggle between good and bad

~…..GOOD….~

MUST always triumph

 

….and; in the end….

no matter what

 

Good would always win

This world would go on

long past my lifetime

 

The writer in me

NEEDED to know

what would eventually happen

 

MY own life was in pieces

the peace I had longed for

was not to be

I had the burden of proof

and believe me~ I tried

but time was NOT on my side

 

and maybe the old adage was true

REVENGE

was…

…..BEST….

…..served up…..

…..COLD…..

 

Because it had time to age

and become

the only thing I had

and would NEVER, EVER DIE

Some would say

that I was ALWAYS

haunted

You could see it my eyes

 

My REAL crime?

being born

NOT perfect;

being gullible

albeit: naivity

….~and~…..in

worst of all

being in the wrong place

at exactly the wrong time

If I lived to a ripe old age

I would NEVER understand why

I was, at best, very ordinary

….and did I REALLY consider myself

the personification of “GOOD”….

…..NO….no-one is…..

I was only Good

in comparison

to one

who was bad

 

….so in the end….

I had to win

….or would I?

 

I believe  in G-d

I am not a complete

egocentric human being

There had to be some thing

more powerful than I

 

I had to believe that things

would eventually get better

because they could not get any worse

 

I had been pushed too far

it was time to fight back

and I had to believe

that all was not for naught

….so in the end;

I would leave

My parting words

were heard by only one person:

me

 

….and I would live the rest of my life

peacefully

 

I want a happy ending…..

…..and with the utmost apologies

to Billy Joel…..

……”and so it goes”

 

 

LOST

I’m lost

somewhere along the way

I got terribly lost

I feel alone

Face it

I am alone

I cannot go on this way

I am headed for trouble

and I have no-one to turn to

I realize that everyone

is busy

don’t lie to me

you are on vacation

you don’t want to see me

that’s fine

why did you bother to call?

I feel like a fool

like a beggar

I thought that

  ~MAYBE~

I could see you

spend an hour

and talk;

maybe have lunch

I’m not good enough for you

Next time

Just don’t call

I have my fair share

of stress

You have no idea

what it is to be me

Have fun

don’t call again

I have nothing to say

 

 

 

PLEASE Shut Up!

Is it too much to ask

for you to just…

Shut Up!

Since the minute you

got out of bed

You have NOT shut up

I don’t know

(or care)

What you are even saying

I just want you to shut up

before I lose my damn mind

…simply shut up!!! 

A Hole In My Heart

When you left

the first time;

my heart broke

When you came back;

I thought it would heal

But what you did cannot be undone

There’s STILL a hole

in my heart

One that will never heal

 

They say:
“Time heals ALL wounds”

UNTRUE

at least for me

The hole remains open; w

….raw…

a painful reminder

of past sins

When you left

My heart broke

I thought

I would fall apart

I didn’t

 

….and even after everything

you did

I remained faithful

to vows

I (reluctantly) said

And now I feel

you slipping away

~AGAIN~

Bear this in mind

IF you walk out

just keep going

I’ll change the locks

The hole will deepen

I will not fall apart

I knew what you were

I was with you

anyway

 

IF you leave again

do not ever come back

 

I’m now in the winter

of my life

too old; too stubborn

too wise to change

 

If your happiness lies with another

just leave

In my mind

you have been here

for years

What difference would it make

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you left and did not come back
I would have to go on
I know you’re unhappy
The hole in my heart
would just deepen
Just think long and hard
there’s no coming back
not to me
I’ll be ok
Don’t blame my illness
You don’t have to stay
I will not die
I want a chance to be happy
with or with you
I don’t think
there will be another
My heart will never heal
but I am as much to blame as you
I’m trying to be truthful
now please do the same with me
I will ALWAYS love you
It’s no longer enough
It’s been over for years
Just acknowledge that fact
Do what you have to do
and go get your happiness
I wish you the best
We had a good go;
it just did not last
I am who I am
As you are who you are
just let me have peace
that’s all I really want