Reflections Of My Life

I find myself in an awful situation

my children have absolutely no intention
of ever seeing me again
G-d- what did I do?
I tried my hardest
maybe it was not enough
I’m batting ZERO
3 kids
3 no shows
I’ve cried an ocean
of tears
They will NEVER know
nor have they any interest
or maybe it is me
I have to face that possibity
EVERYBODY makes mistakes
NO-ONE is perfect
but damn it; I tried
I saw changes
I went running for help
Don’t they remember?

Or is the ALMIGHTY $$$
so important to them
that I no longer count
Yo- I won the lottery
how fast can I apologize…
G-d I hope I’m wrong
I am here ALONE
not without my own problems
I don’t bitch; I don’t moan
I simply keep trying
My Mom would be pleased
Too bad no-one else cares
Something bothering you?
Tell me
I cannot fix what’s wrong
until I know
what’s wrong
EVERY conversation
ends with “I LOVE YOU”
You say it back
You obviously don’t feel it

I am not a typical Jewish Mother
Don’t lay guilt too well
So…here it is

From what I can piece together
I’ll see you at….
my funeral
not guilt

Don’t bother to show
I won’t know
It’s so hard to travel with children
I get it

IF I have a choice
I want 3 guarantees:

I want to be…
more like YOU

(except you all have kids-
do you REALLY want them???)

I wanted all 3 of you
and this is what I end up with
Ironic, huh


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