I Never Thougbt

I thought I knew

who I was

what I wanted

the way I “ticked”

…and then I sat down

and took stock of “me”


Who am I?

What makes me run?

What motivates me?


What do I really want?

Do I even know?


If there’s one thing I want;

it is PEACE;


I know what I’m not

I am not weak

I am strong willed

I am tenacious

I do not let go

I cannot be bought

…or owned

Truman Capote

was right

“People do not own people”

Love does not give you

the right to control

Love is blind?

I see him

for what he is

and he will not change

not for me

I either accept

or I lose

and even after all these years

with everything that has happened

the children, illness,

Good, bad and ugly

We survived

I know him 3/4 of my life

Even after all of this

I still question; deep down

Does he love me?

Or was it because

I had his child?

I did not insist on marriage

That child was meant to be

and I NEVER regretted

that decision

I would have had her

with or with out you

No-one; least of all; me

thought you would stay

“He’s a runner…and he’ll run away

…Soon there’ll be no man

….woman ain’t been born

who can make him stay”

Laura Nero was wrong

I used to loothe being alone

now- I don’t care

I don’t think anyone truly likes

being alone

No man is an island

But for the first time ever

I’m ok alone

I have to be

I am always


I will not break down

if he leaves

my Mother would be proud

People can change

It does not happen often;

but when it does;

It makes me believe

that anything is possible





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