G-d Help Me

I usually go out
Wednesday mornings
I get to escape this “house of horrors”
Once a week, I board a bus
and go shopping
But Today I REALLY did not want to go;
and I DID have an “out”

My ex stopped by and actually offered
to take me to the shopping center
I said “No”
I’d rather go a little later
I had scheduled a bus
His birthday is tomorrow
and although we are not together,
I ALWAYS get him a card
I don’t drive
He figured if I needed nothing else;
I needed to buy him a card- I DID!

But…I had started laundry
and…I like shopping ALONE

He did some errands;
came back here and plopped
himself in my bedroom
and said- IF you’re going out;
can I stay here
I said “fine”

I have a love/hate
with the bus
On Wednesdays;
I hope it’s late
I simply cannot
afford to shop
and I love shopping

I am a bargain shopper
…and I had my heart set
on buying after Easter candy
The bus was about 1/2 hour late

I had phoned- the woman
in the office thought
I was pissed off
because the bus was late
I wanted to cheer
I PRAYED that they were still
going to take me home at noon
YIPPEE- they were…she apologized
I; on the other side of the phone
wanted to hug her…
I just said-“Thanks- that works for me”
The bus shopped up about 10 minutes
after my call

I asked the driver
to drop me at “Five Below”
He just said to me-
“Can you walk to Walmart?
“Sure”, I replied
“See you at noon”

Five Below was a bust
NO Easter candy
They were cleaned out
Bummed…I’ll live
Bought a few things
Broke a toy-
offered to pay- the girl said “no”

Went to Ross-
Walked in- saw a dress I liked
Walked around a little more
found shoes- this was NOT good
put them both back
Reality set in
Walked over to Walmart
They had NO Easter candy either
…or chocolate chip muffins…
needed something sweet-
bought doughnut holes
….I’m now standing
on line- it hits me

OMG- I forgot the card
classic me
I tend to get

My memory is not
what it was
(I’m getting older)

I ended up getting a few things
It worked out A LOT better
than I thought

Maybe I am
finally getting better
I did not have a panic attack
not even close

To my delight;
The bus to come home
was on time
I LOVE that part

I live in hope
that someday
I’ll get the peace
I want

and IF the weather
stays nice
I might even start walking again

This house is my
worst nightmare
Thank G-d; I’m able
to get out more

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