This Morning


I went to my therapist today

I feel very comfortable talking with her
I unload
She listens
It is MORE like 2 friends
just sharing ideas
and just being there
makes me feel like
I’ve accomplished something
I’ve never trusted many people
I trust her
Very high praise
from someone as neurotic
and untrusting as me

I find myself
caught between two worlds
One is for NORMAL people
One is for handicapped people
…and oops! I have been caught
“pretending to be NORMAL”
I’ve made up fantastic stories
….ha…ha…you bought my
….bullshit…
It started when I was quite young
why did my speech sound so…bad???
Answer: I was taught to talk in France
Well…it sounds logical

To this very day
People I went to grade school with
STILL call me “Frenchie”

I have paid dearly
for my sins
I have served
my time in HELL

I have forgiven myself
but it took years
and I have regrets
but who doesn’t?

Maybe the best years
have past
…or….
just MAYBE
The best is yet
to be
I don’t know

I seem to have lost
my magic wand
and my chrystal ball
remains in the shop

What have I done
to deserve a life
like this?

I am innocent
yet the rest of
the world
looks at me
and sees
only my handicap

I have a condition;
it does not have me
I am so much more
than a twisted neck;
bad speech
co-ordination problems

I am a whole person
You want to know
what I have?

Ask me
Don’t stare at me
The LAST thing I want
is pity;
so put it away

I have not come this far
only to be sent home

I have things to buy
and my money is as green as yours
I cook
I shop
I have as much right
to be here as you

I make you feel
…uneasy?

TOUGH

I assume you drove here
I took a bus
I have to wait
for my ride
and I will be damned
if I leave
because of you
You have no power
over me

I saw my therapist
this morning
and came home
thaking G-d
that fate
brought us together

You have helped me
sort out this mess
I call a life

I will continue
to talk with you

I am better
and stronger
You have earned
my respect
and more than that
you are a person
I can tust

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