I Need


I have to go to my couselor tomorrow
I look forwards to it
I have issues
that no meds will put
to rest
I need to vent
I need to be heard
I need to purge my soul
I need to clear my mind

I only hope
the weather
will cooperate
with me
No agonizing over this one
I’ll be ready to go
when the bus gets here

My stomach is not
in knots
a good sign

This will be a good week
for me
Tomorrow I go
and then again
on Wednesday

The more I do this;
the easier it gets
I hope I’ll feel
the same way
about the Wednesday trip

My attempt to conquer
a lifetime
of being an Agoraphobic

I hope to quiet
the monster that haunts

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2 comments

  1. ModWestMuse

    I only have a mild theoretical knowledge of what ‘Agoraphobia’ is. So your words are helping me to understand – from the inside – even better as to what it is. Thank you for them.

    I pray Allah keep you safe. There’s a concept in Islam called ‘tawakkul’, which is to have faith in what God has planned for us (the good and the bad thereof). Even the Muslim struggles with this. But to be honest this is an open concept and can apply to anyone. The point here is that if life is a test to earn God’s pleasure, how can we keep going, striving, living, being – with all life presents us without getting too smug and conceited, when things go right – and without falling into despair when things go wrong? Patience with God’s plan (sabr) in the bad and thankfulness to God (sukr) in the good – is key.

    Peace 🙂

  2. jser67

    Thank you. I appreciate that. I AM going out today. and it is hard- nut I will do it. The iromic part is; I don’t like this house. I’m bored-but I do what I have to do. I appeciate your kind thoughts.

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