VERY ALONE


PLEASE I know you
do not want to be
with me anymore
you certainly
proved just that
last night

U don’t know
what else to say

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6 comments

  1. ModWestMuse

    Sometimes in the silences we feel alone. I hear that. I’ve certainly felt and believed it, once.
    What if there are words of comfort being spoken, daily, hourly, but we don’t see it? What if we’ve trained our minds, our ears to turn a blind eye…?

    And the first action of gaining help is acknowledging that we need to ask for it. And Who is Best to ask? Even by the asking (if indeed it is to God, first, to Whom we turn), we open an otherwise closed door. Now observe. What light may enter…

    Be strong sister πŸ™‚
    My intention as always is a kindly one. I don’t mean to offend 😦

  2. jser67

    Hi- you do not offend- you speak your mind. I am a handicapped person who wants no pity- but I want to be treated as an adult- no one does. People treat me with “kid” g;oves, or even worse, as a child.
    you don’t . I like honesty

    G-d is in my life- I believ HE is everywhere, but I also believe he says. “NO”- you handle it.

    I’ve changed- I’m stronger- Everyone espects respect? Where’s mine?

    Again, thank you- you do not offend..

    • ModWestMuse

      Thank God. And thank you.
      I guess it’s one of those things that people find difficult. To be gentle and deemed too soft or to be ‘no nonsense’ types and deemed too insensitive. Being handicapped (I guess) is similar to being old – in that we may lose (have lost) certain functionalities. In this sense, everyone will have to taste ‘that loss’ in one way or another with the passage of time. The younger folk ought to learn this hard fact as they too will one day be in ‘the chair’ – but the problem of our age is a lack of such consideration. I guess it is actually a human flaw based on the restlessness and quickness of temper in the young. We are taught in Islam to honour the parents/elders:

      “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.

      And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say : β€œMy Lord ! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.

      Your Lord knows best what is in your inner-selves. If you are righteous, then, verily, he is Ever Most Forgiving to those who turn unto Him again and again in obedience, and in repentance.” (Quran 17:23-25)

      And for us who are older or are so afflicted. Our test will naturally be an easier burden – we will not be judged as sternly as an able-bodied. That is Justice and God is the Most Just. This means, you should feel just that bit freer. That God is testing you with your malady because he loves you – not the other way around.

      “Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of Bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: “When (will come) the help of Allah?” Ah! verily the help of Allah is (always) near!” (Quran 2:214) and

      “Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace on him) said: ” Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman’s body, family, and property, until they meet Allah (swt) burdened with no sins.” [ Source: Tirmidhi ]

      Sorry for the length of this. This needed to be said. With loving kindness, I pray God make it easy on you, God-Willing. πŸ™‚

  3. jser67

    I love the fact that you truely believe in your convictions- that is a wonderful way to live. i try to be true to myself. I raised my children to be compassionate. They are very aware of the fact that could inherit the condition i presently have. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe they look at me and see their possible future. They become short tempered with me when I insist on doing for myself, but I do it slower. They lose patience. I have told them time and time again that I will not tolorate disrespect in a public setting. There was one time I walked home, rather than riding home with my daughter.

    I would NEVER laugh at a handicapped person.Why do other people stare at me. I would gladly educate them on my condition. it has ZERO to do with my cognitive skills. I do not blame G-d, I do not blame my parents- Where is compassion?

    Frankly, though I am tired of being alone- maybe I am better off alone. In the end; I am the ONLY one who has to live with me.

    • ModWestMuse

      OK, I can’t presume to know how you feel or what you’re going through. But I can listen. “Maybe they look at me and see their possible future”. Perhaps. “They lose patience.” Yes, they will, because they are young and foolish (a crime I must admit to too – being foolish. Not young). You must show them the patience (for them to learn) – without complaint – ah, there’s the test. This is the famous ‘Trust in God’ test but through action – easy to say, a struggle to do. But look at it as a project, a personal challenge, a quest. They used to call it ‘purifying the heart’ – (it benefits you and those who surround you – because of you). I pray Allah gives us strength – you and I – to have that zest of power within us to at least try. And if we fail, we’ll get up, and try again. (Please see http://www.amazon.com/Purification-Heart-Symptoms-Spiritual-Diseases/product-reviews/1929694156/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt/191-4497739-3649460?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1)

      “Then [on the Judgement Day] anyone who has done an atom’s weight of good [shall] see it! And anyone who has done an atom’s weight of evil shall see it” (Qur’an 99:6–8).

      It is admirable how you are pulling yourself through. So keep your spirits up. Don’t worry about what others say or do, or stare – just keep your head straight and true, on purpose. Let God be our Justicer. We bow to no mortal one. But we should be as kind as you are- and kinder. Love your kids. Hug them, Let them feel your love so they might love your good company. Tell them you love them. Shed them a tear. Kiss and hold them. But don’t put them up on pedestals as some do idolise. That’s an overstep the other way, I believe.

      “I do not blame G-d, I do not blame my parents- Where is compassion?” Yes, yes, yes. And ‘the Most Compassionate’ is a Name of God (Ar Rahman) – your sense of mercy is perfect.

      And in terms of: “I am tired of being alone- maybe I am better off alone. In the end; I am the ONLY one who has to live with me.”

      Yes, you are right. But your tone carries with it that tone of melancholy, Jser, and I want to reassure you to not feel this. Melancholy is an [addictive] sickness of the heart. It is an unfounded notion if considered from the following point of view:

      “Do you think We created you for nothing, and that you will not return to Us?” (Quran 23:115) and

      “Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return’. (Quran 2:156) and

      “…I have not created the jinn and the men except that they should worship Me (God).” (Quran 51: 56)

      And we should not en-strange the concept of ‘worship’. What does it mean if not simply ‘to devote one’s Self to’? Are we not all chasing after material salvation, spending our time, resources and emotional energy on stuff or relying on people as a source of our own happiness. All of these are like black holes and will inevitably leave us with that dark brooding feeling in the pit of our stomach. That feeling of emptiness. It takes everything, but gives nothing right back…

      Sorry for the length. I will have to keep these messages shorter πŸ˜‰ Peace πŸ™‚

  4. jser67

    Thank you. I know you are a person of worth. I agree with you. There will be judgement and judtice, but I will NOT be the one who stands in judgement. “Ans the Meek shall inherit the Earth; I think it says.

    Peace to you- I appreciate your comments more than you know.

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