Without Her

I would not
I could not
Live
in a world
where She did not exist
I would rather die
than go on
without her

She’s too young
She has been through
too much

Change is hard;
if not IMPOSSIBLE

I don’t know
why it started
I don’t know
when it started
but it has to end

There’s too muuch
temptation out there
She needs help
or She’ll die
…and so would I

The sun would come up
the next day
but I would not be here
to see it

I could not
I would not
I could not
deal with
losing her

The world would go on
and everything would be
the same

but I would not be here

I refuse to go on
without her
…and so will I

Dolls~ A VERY BAD~ But True Story

OK- I admit it’

I LOVE dolls;

especially baby dolls

~BUT~

I NEVER had a Tea Party

with my dolls

I know it’s nothing evil; but

just for the record-

I NEVER had a doll Tea Party

When it comes to politics;

I think the “Tea Party”

Republicans are out

of their minds

It’s Who I Am

There comes a time

in  everyone’s life

When you have to do

What you used to think

was impossible

I do not like confrontation

~but~

things have gone too far

A long time ago

I read a parable

which; for whatever reason

stuck in my mind

I do not want

to do what I know

I MUST do

I have to do it

because

it’s who I am

and it’s what I’ll do

…to survive

In a perfect world

there is ALWAYS good and bad

GOOD must ALWAYS triumph

Joy

Where’s the joy?

I cannot find it

My only joy in my life

is laying on the couch

I’d like to able to laugh

to have peace

~not pieces~

Where’s the joy?

Trying to sleep on the couch

across from where I am

Where am I?

I don’t know

I think I’m

~lost~

I Am Who I Am

I am who I am

I do what I do

because I am

the kind oF PERSON

who makes no apologies

for being able to cry, to  bleed

when I fall;

and just pick myself up

and go on home

“I did not want to

I did not plan to;

I did it because

it’s who I am-

it’s what I do

but in the final analyst

I do what I have to do

To survive

I do NOT threaten-

I act

and cry about it

~Later~

Why I Smoke

The TRUTH in 3 little words

I live here

I live with STRESS

I almost never go out

I have a strange condition

Cigarettes actually help

My Brain is endorphin staved

Cigarettes are my brain’ food

No Dr has told me to quit

I even go to a Cardiologist

OK-it’s ALL Bull SHIT

Big Deal Deal

I smoke

4-6 Big ones per day

I don’t drink alcohol

I don’t do recreational drugs

I SMOKE

SHOOT ME!!

Worried- Part ?????

Worried-

I have no idea

where she is

I know she must be

devastated

Her  children

are now being adopted

and she faced with the reality

that her boys are gone

I doubt if their mother will ever

let her see them

PLEASE STAY With Me

To SAM-

I don’t think

I could go on

in a world

where you ceased

to exist

So think long

and hard before

you check yourself out

What you don’t realize

is  that you hold my

fate in your hands

I simply would not

want to live

If you  don’t get better

you’re headed for a life

with only emptiness

This is your last chance

I understand it’s hard

but you have got to come back

stronger and better than

ever before’

G-d knows

your children NEED you

they’re young, but they understand

way too well

the kind of life you’ve lead

up to now

and Baby….My Sweet baby…

I know you’re still in there

just SCREAMING to come out

You just don’t realize

that eventually EVERYONE

will forgive you

But first…

You got to want the help

you’re heading for

a life with no  happiness

So….PLEASE

listen to me

I know about depression and stress

those are my 2 best friends

and worst enemies

G-d’; Please hear

me now

I want to go first

I could not survive

without hearing her voice

Yes; I admit it

I did wrong

I “stole” her

Don’t punish her

for my sin

just take me first

IF you stay where you are

your chances of recovery

is better than if you go

home to him

I can handle a lot of stress

but I cannot and will not watch

My Sweet and Last Baby

self destruct

I know she’s in there somewhere

SCREAMING to come back

and live a life

She was meant to have

She needs to forgive herself;

to try and understand that

even though life is hard

and sometimes rocky

it’s still worth another try

28 years How many were wasted?

Only she knows

I refuse to go on living

if my kid calls it quits

I can only pray

that she gets better

and comes back to us

Love Lost

I just have one question:

 

Does love die-

or does it just get lost

 

Where does it go

Damned if I can find it

I looked everywhere

it’s gone

It’s not in my heart

my heart is empty

and there is a definite void

years ago; you broke my heart

it took time, but it healed

but this time~

it’s broken beyond repair

Love lost

and frankly;

I don’t think I’ll ever find it

again

 

I don’t want to scream

I don’t want to yell

 

I just want to be left alone

 

Go to “her”

when you get home

I’ll be gone

 

There is no such thing as

forever