Here I GO AGAIN!
Tomorrow I get to go out
I should be DELIGHTED
I almost never get out;
and when I do, most times
I just accompany my ex husband
to go run errands- not exactly fun
Tomorrow is my “Wednesday”
I go to the therapist
most Wednesdays~and~
on the way home;
I stop at Walmart
to do a small shopping
I go by bus
(I’m not allowed to drive)
LONG STORY
Here’s my problem:
I am quick when I shop
I go get what I NEED
I may even look at clothes;
which I want; I do not NEED;
but since I’m there…
I check out and
he tells me when to meet him
back at the bus
I’m ALWAYS early
I just sit there
and do nothing
I’m agoraphobic
Even though I want
to go out~INTELLECTIALLY~
The REALITY is that
I need to go home
I’m just not comfortable
outside my home
I force myself
to go out
once a week
As much as being
out of my house
causes me discomfort
I refuse to give in
to me
My therapist and I discussed
this problem
She and I came up with
an alternative to just
sitting on a bench outside
Walmart-watching the world go by
and growing more anxious
with every passing minute
Tomorrow, I will purchase a
small, inexpensive needlepoint kit
Time goes quicker
when you’re doing something
you have to concentrate on
It is certainly worth a try
I refuse to be entirely
housebound for the rest
of my life
Anything that works…
Great idea. I’m a firm believer of ‘working towards something’. In the process – is not only a kind of healing, but often the best ideas materialise
The weather is G-d awful. I DESPERATELY wanted to cancel….but I did not. I did howecer talk the bus company into an earlier home return. I cannot spend over 2 hours in one store and I’m now very cognative of the fact that I am limited to 4 bags. IF it was nice out; I could have gotten a haircut and gone to other stores. I did buy a muffin pan- it sounds silly, but in my “pre- Dystonic” days, I would bake chocolate chip muffuns eaxh morning- so I splurged and bought a new mini-muffin pan, papers and a mix I need to do what I can to alliviate my boredom and feeling of uselessness.. I feel the more I go out, the better I will feel.
It just seems like everytime I go out, it is awful out.
Thanks for your support.
For some reason I’m not receiving notifications of messages on other users’ sites. Weird. Will have to look into that when I have time. Sad about the weather the other day. I hope you were able to make the muffins
Peace
I got everything to make mini muffins. The weather was very bad. It was worse than Sandy
It’s great that you are going out and sticking with it although it is hard for you at times. Hope the needlepoint works out. I spend almost two hours commuting back and forth from work, so today I brought a book along and the time did go by much very faster and enjoyably. If you have a chance I’d definitely recommending trying your hand at cross-stitching. It is a lot of fun.
I can do needlepoint. My Mom never taught me cross stich- but I’ll look it up. My Mother also did lovely embroidery. Too delicate for me. I tend to stitch too tight. My sister has normal co-ordination. she cannot even make a hem. I’m SURE my Mother showed her- my sister’s attitude would rather pay someone. It’s a challenge for me. Somehow I muddle through it. LOL!